1. If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.
2. All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.
3. The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us.
4. When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, “Why god? Why me?” and the thundering voice of God answered, There’s just something about you that pisses me off.
5. Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one’s weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.
6. I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
7. To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.
8. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
9. We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.
10. God will not look you over for medals, degrees or diplomas but for scars.
11. The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
12. A man can no more diminish God’s glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word ‘darkness’ on the walls of his cell.
13. If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph:
THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDED
FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD
14. The darker the night, the brighter the stars,
The deeper the grief, the closer is God!
15. Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.
16. The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.
17. I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept his claim to be God. That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God, but let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.
18. Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.
19. If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
20. Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.
21. Let the first act of every morning be to make the following resolve for the day:
– I shall not fear anyone on Earth.
– I shall fear only God.
– I shall not bear ill will toward anyone.
– I shall not submit to injustice from anyone.
– I shall conquer untruth by truth. And in resisting untruth, I shall put up with all suffering.
22. I have faith that God will show you the answer. But you have to understand that sometimes it takes a while to be able to recognize what God wants you to do. That’s how it often is. God’s voice is usually nothing more than a whisper, and you have to listen very carefully to hear it. But other times, in those rarest of moments, the answer is obvious and rings as loud as a church bell.
23. Sometimes the Bible in the hand of one man is worse than a whisky bottle in the hand of (another)… There are just some kind of men who – who’re so busy worrying about the next world they’ve never learned to live in this one, and you can look down the street and see the results.”
24. He died not for men, but for each man. If each man had been the only man made, He would have done no less.
25. I believe in God, but not as one thing, not as an old man in the sky. I believe that what people call God is something in all of us. I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha and all the rest said was right. It’s just that the translations have gone wrong.
26. God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won’t tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.
27. I sought to hear the voice of God and climbed the topmost steeple, but God declared: “Go down again – I dwell among the people.
28. Parents are like God because you wanna know they’re out there, and you want them to think well of you, but you really only call when you need something.
29. I talk to God but the sky is empty.
30. God save us from people who mean well.
31. That wasn’t any act of God. That was an act of pure human fuckery.
32. Sometimes God allows what he hates to accomplish what he loves.
33. Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee.
34. No woman wants to be in submission to a man who isn’t in submission to God!
35. The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.
36. Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?
37. When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me.
38. You can safely assume you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.
39. There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
40. He – and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.
41. I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don’t notice it.
42. I don’t stand for black man’s side, I don’t stand for white man’s side, I stand for God’s side.
43. She glared at me like she was about to punch me, but then she did something that surprised me even more. She kissed me.
“Be careful seaweed brain.” She said putting on her invisible cap and disappearing.
I probably would have sat there all day, trying to remember my name, but then the sea demons came.
44. If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
45. Above all else, guard your heart for it affects everything else you do.
46. God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
47. My argument against God was that the universe seemed so cruel and unjust. But how had I got this idea of just and unjust? A man does not call a line crooked unless he has some idea of a straight line. What was I comparing this universe with when I called it unjust?
48. Look for God, suggests my Guru. Look for God like a man with his head on fire looks for water.
49. Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.
50. The great thing to remember is that though our feelings come and go God’s love for us does not.
51. And out of that hopeless attempt has come nearly all that we call human history—money, poverty, ambition, war, prostitution, classes, empires, slavery—the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy.
52. I do not believe in God and I am not an atheist.
53. God is a comedian playing to an audience that is too afraid to laugh.
54. Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind-bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.
The argument goes something like this: “I refuse to prove that I exist,'” says God, “for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.”
“But,” says Man, “The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn’t it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don’t. QED.”
“Oh dear,” says God, “I hadn’t thought of that,” and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
“Oh, that was easy,” says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.
55. Because here’s something else that’s weird but true: in the day-to day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship—be it JC or Allah, be it YHWH or the Wiccan Mother Goddess, or the Four Noble Truths, or some inviolable set of ethical principles—is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough. It’s the truth. Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you. On one level, we all know this stuff already. It’s been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, epigrams, parables; the skeleton of every great story. The whole trick is keeping the truth up front in daily consciousness.
56. Joy is the infallible sign of the presence of God.
57. All that you touch
All that you Change
The only lasting truth
58. Because God is never cruel, there is a reason for all things. We must know the pain of loss; because if we never knew it, we would have no compassion for others, and we would become monsters of self-regard, creatures of unalloyed self-interest. The terrible pain of loss teaches humility to our prideful kind, has the power to soften uncaring hearts, to make a better person of a good one.
59. It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present in us; it is the very sign of His presence.
60. I see in the fight club the strongest and smartest men who’ve ever lived. I see all this potential and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables, slaves with white collars, advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of the history man, no purpose or place, we have no Great war, no Great depression, our great war is a spiritual war, our great depression is our lives, we’ve been all raised by television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires and movie gods and rock stars, but we won’t and we’re slowly learning that fact. and we’re very very pissed off.