1. Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
2. I figured something out. The future is unpredictable.
3. The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
4. Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
5. This is my depressed stance. When you’re depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you’ll start to feel better. If you’re going to get any joy out of being depressed, you’ve got to stand like this.
6. Now the trouble about trying to make yourself stupider than you really are is that you very often succeed.
7. An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise.
8. Irony is wasted on the stupid
9. To generalize is to be an idiot.
10. Listen to me, goblin. You’re stupid, let’s accept that and move on.
11. I feel sorry for anyone who is in a place where he feels strange and stupid.
12. If it is stupid but it works, it isn’t stupid.
13. Anger is stupid, and stupidity will kill you more surely than your opponent’s blade.
14. I responded to this development with the kind of sophisticated language for which I am famous. “Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid crap.
15. I care. They bother me. And that’s why I’m stupid. That makes me exponentially more stupid than stupid. I’m stupid to the power of stupid.
16. I wish to Heaven I was married,” she said resentfully as she attacked the yams with loathing. “I’m tired of everlastingly being unnatural and never doing anything I want to do. I’m tired of acting like I don’t eat more than a bird, and walking when I want to run and saying I feel faint after a waltz, when I could dance for two days and never get tired. I’m tired of saying, ‘How wonderful you are!’ to fool men who haven’t got one-half the sense I’ve got, and I’m tired of pretending I don’t know anything, so men can tell me things and feel important while they’re doing it… I can’t eat another bite.
17. There are so many different kinds of stupidity, and cleverness is one of the worst.
18. Intelligent people know they are intelligent. They also know that one person cannot know all, hence a person is not stupid simply because he is ignorant of one thing or another. They know that, to another intelligent person, they will not appear stupid in asking for an explanation of what they do not know, and so their ignorance on any particular issue does not become an embarrassment.
19. A stupid ruler is much more of a problem than an insane one.
20. Most people are boring and stupid.
21. He was dressed just like on TV, with lots of silver chains and bracelets, ripped jeans, and a black muscle shirt (Which was kind of stupid, since he didn’t have any muscles).
22. When you do something stupid and die, it’s pathetic,” I said. “When you do something stupid and survive it, then you get to call it impressive or heroic.
23. God doesn’t like lesbians,” Grandma Huberman hised, throwing the magazine in the trash.
Jennifer knew what lesbian meant, and she knew she probably was one. But she couldn’t understand why God would hold that against her or against Monica Mathers, who’d never started a war or killed anybody, and whose deadeye three-pointers were straight-up amazing. After all, hadn’t God made both of them? But people were like that, she’d noticed. They’d invoke Godly privilege at the weirdest of times and for the most stupid reasons.
24. And now I wish I hadn’t been civil, because he says he shall not despair! He is as stupid as Endymion!” “No, no!” said Alverstoke soothingly. “Nobody could be as stupid as Endymion!
25. The word “genius” isn’t applicable in football. A Genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.
26. Really, it had been stupid to expect anything anyway. A few late nights does not a habit, or a relationship, make.
27. I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.
28. The rule is: don’t use commas like a stupid person. I mean it.
29. Stupid kissing. Stupid roaming hands. Stupid boys.
30. The number of chances you give someone doesn’t tell the world how loving you are without telling them how desperate you are to believe they care as much as you. True love resides in the first chance, stupidity in the second, opportunists in the third and scoundrels in the fourth.
31. Yes, he is a man, so genetically he’s engineered to be dense about many things, but he’s not stupid.
32. A stupid person can make only certain, limited types of errors; the mistakes open to a clever fellow are far broader. But to the one who knows how smart he is compared to everyone else, the possibilities for true idiocy are boundless.
33. Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them.
34. I like ’em big. And stupid. Don’t tell my husband.
35. Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it’s tuna, but it says ‘Chicken by the Sea.
36. The groove is so mysterious. We’re born with it and we lose it and the world seems to split apart before our eyes into stupid and cool. When we get it back, the world unifies around us, and both stupid and cool fall away.
I am grateful to those who are keepers of the groove. The babies and the grandmas who hang on to it and help us remember when we forget that any kind of dancing is better than no dancing at all.
37. Many people are smarter than their stupid bosses.
38. I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.
39. Have you noticed we can breathe in here too? Gosh, I wouldn’t have picked up on that.
40. Sure you do. Everyone wants to play. They’re just afraid of looking stupid. But you know what’s stupid? Not trying. So just…try.
41. Sometimes playing stupid opens your eyes to the truth.
42. He wondered about himself (whether he was broken, or special, or better, or worse) and about other people (whether they were really all as stupid as they seemed).
43. I’m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
44. I’m smart in some ways- pretty good vocabulary, solid at math – but I am definitely the stupidest smart person there is… I was going to be the worst friend in the history of dying girls… Because I don’t really have a moral compass and I need to rely on (Earl) for guidance, or else I might accidentally become like a hermit or a terrorist or something. How fucked up is that.
45. When you curse anything bad, you just give birth to the new one.
46. Stupid to speak of blame when the wills of the immortals are involved.
47. I’m different,” said the Kid. “My gran always said I was half clever, half stupid, and half crazy.
48. Some people will insult your intelligence by suddenly being nice or nicer to you once you make it … or they think you have.
49. Allan interrupted the two brothers by saying that he had been out and about in the world and if there was one thing he had learned it was that the very biggest and apparently most impossible conflicts on earth were based on the dialogue: “You are stupid, no, it’s you who are stupid, no, it’s you who are stupid.” The solution, said Allan, was often to down a bottle of vodka together and then look ahead.
50. Have faith that your child’s brain is an evolving planet that rotates at its own speed. It will naturally be attracted to or repel certain subjects. Be patient. Just as there are ugly ducklings that turn into beautiful swans, there are rebellious kids and slow learners that turn into serious innovators and hardcore intellectuals.
51. (Parody that is often falsely believed to be a true quote of Mariah Carey’s) Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff.
52. Religion can only do two things for mankind; turn them into monster or stupid.
53. I’m so smart now. Everyone’s always like ‘take your top off’. Sorry, NO! They always want to get that money shot. I’m not stupid.
54. If we are not stupid then we are bound to become one.
55. If you’re angry at stupid people, you’re tempted to join them.
56. I had become a perfect fake human, saying the stupid and pointless things that humans say to each other all day long.
57. But what could I do? Be stupid for a while? I wasn’t sure I knew how, even after so many years of careful observation.
58. Either they’re still naive, or stupid.
59. True beauty is measured by the number of pearls within you, not those around your neck.
60. In the United States I have always believed that there was a big difference between Conservative and stupid. Boy is it getting harder to prove that one by the minute.