Quotes About The Internet
1. Headline?” he asked.
“‘Swing Set Needs Home,'” I said.
“‘Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home,'” he said.
“‘Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children,'” I said.
2. I still love books. Nothing a computer can do can compare to a book. You can’t really put a book on the Internet. Three companies have offered to put books by me on the Net, and I said, ‘If you can make something that has a nice jacket, nice paper with that nice smell, then we’ll talk.’ All the computer can give you is a manuscript. People don’t want to read manuscripts. They want to read books. Books smell good. They look good. You can press it to your bosom. You can carry it in your pocket
3. Google can bring you back 100,000 answers. A librarian can bring you back the right one.
4. Oh, Wikipedia, with your tension between those who would share knowledge and those who would destroy it.
5. Oh, Wikipedia, with your tension between those who would share knowledge and those who would destroy it.
6. Don’t believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose.
7. Just move to the Internet, its great here. We get to live inside where the weather is always awesome.
8. Cyberspace. A consensual hallucination experienced daily by billions of legitimate operators, in every nation, by children being taught mathematical concepts… A graphic representation of data abstracted from banks of every computer in the human system. Unthinkable complexity. Lines of light ranged in the nonspace of the mind, clusters and constellations of data. Like city lights, receding…
9. Distracted from distraction by distraction
10. A telkhine was hunched over a console, but he was so involved with his work, he didn’t notice us. He was about five feet tall, with slick black seal fur and stubby little feet. He had the head of a Doberman, but his clawed hands were almost human. He growled and muttered as he tapped on his keyboard. Maybe he was messaging his friends on uglyface.com.
11. If television’s a babysitter, the Internet is a drunk librarian who won’t shut up.
12. I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.
13. Certainly it constitutes bad news when the people who agree with you are buggier than batshit.
14. Any idiot can put up a website.
15. Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?
16. Arguing that you don’t care about the right to privacy because you have nothing to hide is no different than saying you don’t care about free speech because you have nothing to say.
17. You could write a book about things that you can’t find on-line.
18.We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
19. You are what you share.
20. I wish I knew how to quit you, Tumblr.
21. We refuse to turn off our computers, turn off our phone, log off Facebook, and just sit in silence, because in those moments we might actually have to face up to who we really are.
22. Most neuroses and some psychoses can be traced to the unnecessary and unhealthy habit of daily wallowing in the troubles and sins of five billion strangers.
23. Be careful who you choose as your hero or who you choose to deify, be it Clay Aiken or Barack Obama. You put all you’re hope and all your dreams and all your ideas about stuff into one human being. They’re a human being they’re going to let you down.
You can’t make someone your hero because of something you read on the internet. The internet is not a source of information it is a source of disinformation.
24. Chance favors the connected mind.
25. The best way to measure the loss of intellectual sophistication – this “nerdification,” to put it bluntly – is in the growing disappearance of sarcasm, as mechanic minds take insults a bit too literally.
26. Doing research on the Web is like using a library assembled piecemeal by pack rats and vandalized nightly.
28. The internet is just a world passing notes around a classroom.
29. Every good writer I know needs to go into some deep, quiet place to do work that is fully imagined. And what the Internet brings is lots of vulgar data. It is the antithesis of the imagination. It leaves nothing to the imagination.
30. I dislike the phrase ‘Internet friends,’ because it implies that people you know online aren’t really your friends, that somehow the friendship is less real or meaningful to you because it happens through Skype or text messages. The measure of a friendship is not its physicality but its significance.
31. The Internet is the first thing that humanity has built that humanity doesn’t understand, the largest experiment in anarchy that we have ever had.
32. It is the greatest truth of our age: Information is not knowledge.
33. Hermes gazed up at the stars. “My dear young cousin, if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the eons, it’s that you can’t give up on your family, no matter how tempting they make it. It doesn’t matter if they hate you, or embarrass you, or simply don’t appreciate your genius for inventing the Internet-”
“You invented the Internet?”
It was my idea, Martha said.
Rats are delicious, George said.
“It was my idea!” Hermes said. “I mean the Internet, not the rats.
34. Like every other creature on the face of the earth, Godfrey was, by birthright, a stupendous badass, albeit in the somewhat narrow technical sense that he could trace his ancestry back up a long line of slightly less highly evolved stupendous badasses to that first self-replicating gizmo—which, given the number and variety of its descendants, might justifiably be described as the most stupendous badass of all time. Everyone and everything that wasn’t a stupendous badass was dead.
35. If you’re insulting people on the internet, you must be ugly on the inside.
36. Aunt Prue was holding one of the squirrels in her hand, while it sucked ferociously on the end of the dropper. ‘And once a day, we have ta clean their little private parts with a Q-tip, so they’ll learn ta clean themselves.’ That was a visual I didn’t need. ‘How could you possibly know that?’ ‘We looked it up on the E-nternet.’ Aunt Mercy smiled proudly. I couldn’t imagine how my aunts knew anything about the Internet. The Sisters didn’t even own a toaster oven. ‘How did you get on the Internet?’ ‘Thelma took us ta the library and Miss Marian helped us. They have computers over there. Did you know that?
37. The Internet is a big distraction. It’s distracting, it’s meaningless; it’s not real. It’s in the air somewhere.
38. Only on the Internet can a person be lonely and popular at the same time.
39. The ‘Net is a waste of time, and that’s exactly what’s right about it.
40. The Net’s interactivity gives us powerful new tools for finding information, expressing ourselves, and conversing with others. It also turns us into lab rats constantly pressing levers to get tiny pellets of social or intellectual nourishment.
41. Everyone knows that the Internet is changing our lives, mostly because someone in the media has uttered that exact phrase every single day since 1993. However, it certainly appears that the main thing the Internet has accomplished is the normalization of amateur pornography. There is no justification for the amount of naked people on the World Wide Web, many of whom are clearly (clearly!) doing so for non-monetary reasons. Where were these people fifteen years ago? Were there really millions of women in 1986 turning to their husbands and saying, ‘You know, I would love to have total strangers masturbate to images of me deep-throating a titanium dildo, but there’s simply no medium for that kind of entertainment. I guess we’ll just have to sit here and watch Falcon Crest again.
42. The internet was supposed to liberate knowledge, but in fact it buried it, first under a vast sewer of ignorance, laziness, bigotry, superstition and filth and then beneath the cloak of political surveillance. Now…cyberspace exists exclusively to promote commerce, gossip and pornography. And of course to hunt down sedition. Only paper is safe. Books are the key. A book cannot be accessed from afar, you have to hold it, you have to read it.
43. In the age of technology there is constant access to vast amounts of information. The basket overflows; people get overwhelmed; the eye of the storm is not so much what goes on in the world, it is the confusion of how to think, feel, digest, and react to what goes on.
44. Reading, for me, is like this: consumptive, pleasing, calming, as much as edifying. It’s how I feel after a good dinner. That’s why I do it so often: It feels wonderful. The book is mind and I insert myself into it, cover it entire, ear my way through every last slash and dot. That’s something you can do with a book, unlike television or movies or the Internet. You can eat it, or mark it, like a dog does on a hydrant.
45. Everyone says that the internet is so awesome because you can connect with people from all over the world, but I think it’s the opposite. The internet doesn’t make it easier to connect with anyone—it just makes it so you don’t really have to.
46. What the Net seems to be doing is chipping away my capacity for concentration and contemplation. Whether I’m online or not, my mind now expects to take in information the way the Net distributes it: in a swiftly moving stream of particles. Once I was a scuba diver in the sea of words. Now I zip along the surface like a guy on a Jet Ski.
47. The level of intelligence has been tremendously increased, because people are thinking and communicating in terms of screens, and not in lettered books. Much of the real action is taking place in what is called cyberspace. People have learned how to boot up, activate, and transmit their brains.
Essentially, there’s a universe inside your brain. The number of connections possible inside your brain is limitless. And as people have learned to have more managerial and direct creative access to their brains, they have also developed matrices or networks of people that communicate electronically. There are direct brain/computer link-ups. You can just jack yourself in and pilot your brain around in cyberspace-electronic space.
48. What organized dating sites fail to understand is that the people are far more interesting in what they don’t say about themselves.
49. Maruman does not loll.
50. He found a set of encyclopedias—like Wikipedia, but paper and very bulky.
51. The internet: always proving that you’re not quite as special as you suspected.
52. When love slides into the edge of unconcern or vanishes in the cornfield of forgetfulness, our mind must loosen the knots that tie us to the barren fields of a lost past. (“The Internet rescue”)
53. While we encounter people and intuit their thoughts, and hear their words, we construe and interpret what we perceive. In that way, perception can become enlightenment and recognition. (“The Internet rescue”)
54. The Internet is like alcohol in some sense. It accentuates what you would do anyway. If you want to be a loner, you can be more alone. If you want to connect, it makes it easier to connect.
55. I did Google him, you know.”
“Oh, so you GOOGLED him Oh, well, that changes everything then, doesn’t it? What could I possibly worry about now that I know you’ve conducted such a thorough Internet search?
56. Communications tools don’t get socially interesting until they get technologically boring.
57. I’m on the Internet. I stay informed. They let old people on the Internet, you know.
58. I think the way I feel about the internet is the way some people feel about the ocean. It’s so huge and unknowable, but also totally predictable. You type a line of symbols and click enter, and everything you want to happen, happens.
Not like real life, where all the wanting in the world can’t make something exist.
59. I picture it like Judgement Day,’ he says finally, his eyes on the water. ‘We’ll rise up out of our bodies and find each other again in spirit form. We’ll meet in that new place, all of us together, and first it’ll seem strange, and pretty soon it’ll seem strange that you could ever lose someone, or get lost.
60. And people turn to internet with the hope that in this virtual world, where real identity need not be disclosed, they will find someone before whom they could be their true self,without any pretensions and get an opportunity to release the pent-up emotions and feel light.