1. All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.
2. If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.
3. This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.
4. One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.
5. I love you like a fat kid loves cake!
6. Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.
7. Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.
8. After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.
9. Listen to the people who love you. Believe that they are worth living for even when you don’t believe it. Seek out the memories depression takes away and project them into the future. Be brave; be strong; take your pills. Exercise because it’s good for you even if every step weighs a thousand pounds. Eat when food itself disgusts you. Reason with yourself when you have lost your reason.
10. There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
11. Pull up a chair. Take a taste. Come join us. Life is so endlessly delicious.
12. Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
13. There is no love sincerer than the love of food.
14. Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem.
15. I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
16. Cakes are healthy too, you just eat a small slice.
17. Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.
18. A fit, healthy body—that is the best fashion statement
19. Probably one of the most private things in the world is an egg before it is broken.
20. Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don’t forget food. You can go a week without laughing.
21. The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook.
22. When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist.
23. You are what what you eat eats.
24. Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It’s made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!
25. Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We’re supposed to be exercising.
26. I am a better person when I have less on my plate.
27. Am I tough? Am I strong? Am I hard-core? Absolutely.
Did I whimper with pathetic delight when I sank my teeth into my hot fried-chicken sandwich? You betcha.
28. We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie.
29. What I say is that, if a man really likes potatoes, he must be a pretty decent sort of fellow.
30. Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.
31. Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.
32. Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
33. The only real stumbling block is fear of failure. In cooking you’ve got to have a what-the-hell attitude.
34. Don’t wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty. Chocolate isn’t like premarital sex. It will not make you pregnant. And it always feels good.
35. I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food
36. There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s a wife who can’t cook and will.
37. I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.
38. Ice-cream is exquisite. What a pity it isn’t illegal.
39. How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese?
40. You can’t just eat good food. You’ve got to talk about it too. And you’ve got to talk about it to somebody who understands that kind of food.
41. I hate people who are not serious about meals. It is so shallow of them.
42. A culture fixated on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty, but an obsession about female obedience. Dieting is the most potent political sedative in women’s history; a quietly mad population is a tractable one.
43. I breathe in slowly. Food is life. I exhale, take another breath. Food is life. And that’s the problem. When you’re alive, people can hurt you. It’s easier to crawl into a bone cage or a snowdrift of confusion. It’s easier to lock everybody out.
But it’s a lie.
44. The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
45. As I ate the oysters with their strong taste of the sea and their faint metallic taste that the cold white wine washed away, leaving only the sea taste and the succulent texture, and as I drank their cold liquid from each shell and washed it down with the crisp taste of the wine, I lost the empty feeling and began to be happy and to make plans.
46. He showed the words “chocolate cake” to a group of Americans and recorded their word associations. “Guilt” was the top response. If that strikes you as unexceptional, consider the response of French eaters to the same prompt: “celebration.
47. Anything is good if it’s made of chocolate.
48. You’re thinking I’m one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I’m not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway.
49. Do we really want to travel in hermetically sealed popemobiles through the rural provinces of France, Mexico and the Far East, eating only in Hard Rock Cafes and McDonalds? Or do we want to eat without fear, tearing into the local stew, the humble taqueria’s mystery meat, the sincerely offered gift of a lightly grilled fish head? I know what I want. I want it all. I want to try everything once.
50. If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
51. Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he’ll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you’re a consultant.
52. You can tell a lot about a fellow’s character by his way of eating jellybeans.
53. Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
54. Whoever thought a tiny candy bar should be called fun size was a moron.
55. My love is pizza shaped. Won’t you have a slice? It’s circular, so there’s enough to go around.
56. She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, “Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.
57. If you’re afraid of butter, use cream.
58. I don’t know what it is about food your mother makes for you, especially when it’s something that anyone can make – pancakes, meat loaf, tuna salad – but it carries a certain taste of memory.
59. Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
60. You have just dined, and however scrupulously the slaughterhouse is concealed in the graceful distance of miles, there is complicity.